Principles and Practices of Discernment and Decision-Making

Solomon prayed for wisdom and God was pleased with this request. An entire book of the bible (Proverbs) is dedicated to the exploration of wisdom in living. God desires that we have wisdom in ordering our individual, family and communal lives together. We’ll explore principles and practices for discernment and making wise decisions, and then consider how these can be applied specifically to group settings.

Principles and Practices of Discernment and Decision-Making

Preliminary Points:

1.     Discernment is a choice between "goods:” between two or more good things. If one choice is evil, we never do that. 

2.     Discernment only makes sense in the context of a love relationship with God. Love expressed in action. 

3.     Discernment is necessary because of spiritual warfare. 

Principle and Foundation

1.     The Principle and Foundation was developed by Ignatius of Loyola as a resource for helping generous disciples to orient their lives towards what is first and foundational in their lives, so that they might stay true to God’s call. We might think of it in terms of a “mission statement,” yet it’s more than that. It is a thoughtful attempt to articulate the reason for our existence as humans, the sense of relationship we have with God, and how we can live in light of these truths.

2.     As written by Ignatius of Loyola: “God created human beings to praise, reverence, and serve God, and by doing this, to save their souls. God created all other things on the face of the earth to help fulfill this purpose. From this it follows that we are to use the things of this world only to the extent that they help us to this end, and we ought to rid ourselves of the things of this world to the extent that they get in the way of this end. For this it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things as much as we are able, so that we do not necessarily want health rather than sickness, riches rather than poverty, honor rather than dishonor, a long rather than a short life, and so in all the rest, so that we ultimately desire and choose only what is most conducive for us to the end for which God created us.”

3.     A contemporary example: “God looks at me and loves me. He smiles at me and sings over me and speaks these words to me: “You are my beloved child; with you I am well-pleased.” Out of the overflow of this love, my response is to praise, love and serve God with my whole self. In his love, God gives good gifts to me. These gifts express God’s love and assist me in my response of love. I am to receive these gifts with open hands and ask for them as I have need. I am invited to wisely and faithfully steward these gifts in loving service to God and others. Insofar and to the degree that these gifts help me love God and others, I am free to use these gifts joyously and with gratitude. Insofar and to the degree that these gifts detract from my free loving service to God and others, I am to lay those gifts down. Therefore, above all else, I am to seek the Giver, not the gifts. I am to hold all gifts lightly, as a steward, not an owner, free to take them up or lay them down as they help me to express praise, love and service to God, and others, in response to the love God has for me.”

Seven Attitudes for Discernment:

1.     Openness: We must let go of pre-existing "attachments"

2.     Generosity: No conditions on what God might call us to

3.     Courage: God might call us to something difficult 

4.     Inner Freedom: Neither "all talk, no action" nor "doing everything but the one thing necessary," but desiring only to do God's will

5.     A Habit of Prayerful Reflection on One's Experience: How can we hear God's call if we're not listening? How can we listen if we don't pray?

6.     Having One's Priorities Straight: If loving, honoring and serving God, and seeking the well-being of people, is the ultimate goal of our lives, then everything else must be kept in a subordinate position as a means to that end

7.     Not Confusing Means With Ends: Put first things first and don't unintentionally put God in second place (expansion of above point)

Three Times for Discernment:

1.     We feel inner clarity about what to do - if so, then do that! :)

2.     We feel inner conflict about what to do, feeling pulled in different directions 

3.     There is not much of anything going on inside and we feel clueless

Practical Process for Discernment:

1.     Develop a habit of prayer reflection: 20 minutes of daily quiet, using the Prayer of Examen as a helpful tool

2.     Clarify the Question: Put before our mind what it is we want to decide about. What are the options?

3.     Ask for grace to be in equilibrium between the options. This is often described as seeking “indifference.”

4.     Ask for God's enlightenment to seek only what is most conducive to his glory and service

5.     Imagine:

a.     A person we never met asking for help in the same direction, what would we recommend?

b.     We're at the end of our lives, how do we feel about our decision then? What would we say to Christ about it?

6.     When we do not have inner clarity, make a list of "pros" and "cons.” We bear in mind our ultimate goal and the advantages and disadvantages towards that. Then decide according to more weighty motives. 

7.     Having made the decision, we turn again to God for signs of confirmation. Usual sign is experience of peace and rightness. This is an important step. 

Additional Helpful Information:

The following “rules” are wisdom gathered from scripture and experience designed to help disciples of Jesus recognized common patterns of movement in their soul by the Spirit of God and the Evil Spirit. The first fourteen are general guidelines for all disciples and the following eight are deeper wisdom for more mature disciples.

The Fourteen “Rules” for the Discernment of Spirits (developed by Ignatius of Loyola):

1.     For people moving away from God (given to living in sin), the enemy will smooth the path, whereas God will prick and bite. 

2.     For people who are drawing closer to God, the reverse is true. 

3.     Spiritual Consolation: movements in the soul inflaming our love for Jesus. Increase of hope, joy, etc. 

4.     Spiritual Desolation: darkness of soul, disturbance in it, unquiet agitations, feeling separate and without love, hope, joy, etc. 

5.     In time of desolation, never make a change, but be firm and constant in our resolutions from before we were desolate. Because we cannot trust our counsels in such seasons. 

6.     When in desolation, don't make a change, but do intensely seek to change ourselves by growing in prayer, meditation, etc. 

7.     When in desolation, consider how The Lord has left you in your natural powers and you have grace enough for salvation. 

8.     When in desolation, labor to be in patience, which is contrary to vexations. Consider you will soon be consoled. 

9.     Three reasons we find ourselves desolate: 1) because of tepid and negligent devotions; 2) to test us to see how we will serve without such grace; 3) to remind us it is all by grace and not of ourselves (that we won't "build a nest in a thing not ours".)

10.  When in consolation, consider that desolation in coming and gain strength for that day. 

11.  When in consolation, humble yourself. When in desolation, consider how much you can do with the grace you do have, to resist your enemy. 

12.  The enemy will take flight when we boldly resist the enemy's temptations. But if we faint and oar heart, he will press the advantage. 

13.  The enemy wants to keep his temptations and advances secret. 

14.  The enemy will look for our point of weakest defense and seek to exploit it. 

The Eight (Additional) Rules for the Discernment of Spirits:

1.     It is proper to God and to His Angels in their movements to give true spiritual gladness and joy, taking away all sadness and disturbance which the enemy brings on. Of this latter it is proper to fight against the spiritual gladness and consolation, bringing apparent reasons, subtleties and continual fallacies

2.     It belongs to God our Lord to give consolation to the soul without preceding cause, for it is the property of the Creator to enter, go out and cause movements in the soul, bringing it all into love of His Divine Majesty. I say without cause: without any previous sense or knowledge of any object through which such consolation would come, through one’s acts of understanding and will.

3.     With cause, as well the good Angel as the bad can console the soul, for contrary ends: the good Angel for the profit of the soul, that it may grow and rise from good to better, and the evil Angel, for the contrary, and later on to draw it to his damnable intention and wickedness.

4.     It is proper to the evil Angel, who forms himself under the appearance of an angel of light, to enter with the devout soul and go out with himself: that is to say, to bring good and holy thoughts, conformable to such just soul, and then little by little he aims at coming out drawing the soul to his covert deceits and perverse intentions.

5.     We ought to note well the course of the thoughts, and if the beginning, middle and end is all good, inclined to all good, it is a sign of the good Angel; but if in the course of the thoughts which he brings it ends in something bad, of a distracting tendency, or less good than what the soul had previously proposed to do, or if it weakens it or disquiets or disturbs the soul, taking away its peace, tranquility and quiet, which it had before, it is a clear sign that it proceeds from the evil spirit, enemy of our profit and eternal salvation.

6.     When the enemy of human nature has been perceived and known by his serpent’s tail and the bad end to which he leads on, it helps the person who was tempted by him, to look immediately at the course of the good thoughts which he brought him at their beginning, and how little by little he aimed at making him descend from the spiritual sweetness and joy in which he was, so far as to bring him to his depraved intention; in order that with this experience, known and noted, the person may be able to guard for the future against his usual deceits.

7.     In those who go on from good to better, the good Angel touches such soul sweetly, lightly and gently, like a drop of water which enters into a sponge; and the evil touches it sharply and with noise and disquiet, as when the drop of water falls on the stone. … And the above-said spirits touch in a contrary way those who go on from bad to worse. … The reason of this is that the disposition of the soul is contrary or like to the said Angels. Because, when it is contrary, they enter perceptibly with clatter and noise; and when it is like, they enter with silence as into their own home, through the open door.

8.     When the consolation is without cause, although there be no deceit in it, as being of God our Lord alone, as was said; still the spiritual person to whom God gives such consolation, ought, with much vigilance and attention, to look at and distinguish the time itself of such actual consolation from the following, in which the soul remains warm and favored with the favor and remnants of the consolation past; for often in this second time, through one’s own course of habits and the consequences of the concepts and judgments, or through the good spirit or through the bad, he forms various resolutions and opinions which are not given immediately by God our Lord, and therefore they have need to be very well examined before entire credit is given them, or they are put into effect.

Discerning God’s Will Together

Discerning God’s will in groups and teams builds on the foundations of our practice of a lifestyle of discernment as individuals. Faithfully practiced, rhythms of discernment in the lives of individual disciples and communities of whatever size, will help them stay true to the call of Jesus on their lives and for their group. The process is very similar with the following additional insights, adapted from Ruth Haley Barton, from Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership:

1.     Entering into the Process of Discernment: As we cultivate a lifestyle of discernment, we notice that it begins to happen naturally. Yet, there are also times for decision-making that call for intentionality and focus in actively seeking God’s will. It might be that the leader of the team senses this and invites people together, or that the community has before it a decision of particular significance. As a spiritual practice, discernment is not mechanical nor is it always linear. As we become more comfortable with the process we experience it not so much as a step-by-step procedure but as a creative mix of the following dynamic elements.

2.     Ask the right question: Not all questions warrant a full discernment process. Some questions might be answered with a 15 minute, fact-filled discussion. However, there are other questions that require a different level of attention and prayerfulness from the entire leadership group or community. Even when we think we know what the question is, there might be a larger question lurking underneath it that holds even greater significance for us. Thus, discernment begins with listening for the deeper question.

3.     Involve the right people: It is amazing how we can become so stuck in organizational “silos” that we overlook those who might have important contributions to make to the discernment process. In addition to the obvious we might consider: Who else has gifts of wisdom and discernment that we value? Who has information and experience that might help us? Who has influence that might be able to help us communicate the outcomes of our process to others in an inviting way to the larger community when the time comes?

4.     Establish guiding values and principles: Discernment with others requires an extraordinary amount of safety in each other’s presence along with great clarity about what values govern the process. We do not just assume these things; we talk about them and seek to live into them with great vigor and intent. We are committed to telling the truth. Beyond the kind of maneuvering and posturing that often takes place in group settings, we believe God works through all truth – even truth that seems like it might slow us down or complicate matters or take us into uncharted territory – to bring forth the gift of discernment. Even when the truth is hard, we take great pains to affirm the courage that it takes for each one of us to bring the truth that God has given us to the discernment process. When any one of us has deep reservations or resistance to a particular direction or decision, we trust the Spirit of God in that person and wait for deeper understanding and unity.

5.     Pray without ceasing:

a.     Discernment requires much more than a perfunctory prayer at the beginning of a meeting. In fact, it involves several kinds of praying throughout the entire process. When the question for discernment has been clarified, the community for discernment assembled, and guiding principles have been established, we can begin with a prayer of quiet trust like the one found in Psalm 131 in which the Psalmist acknowledges his utter dependence upon God in the face of matters “too great and too marvelous for me.” A different kind of spirit descends upon us when we enter into decision-making from this stance. When we sense that the process is getting out of hand, that human dynamics are distracting us from real issues, that we are stuck, that we are applying nothing more than human effort to the decision at hand, it can be very helpful for the leader to call the group back to this prayer of quiet trust along with a little time for silence. This gives us the opportunity to shift back into a position of trust rather than human striving.

b.     We need to also pray for indifference. This is not the kind of indifference that we associate with apathy; rather, it is the prayer that we would be indifferent to everything but the will of God. This can be a very challenging prayer for us to pray because oftentimes we enter into decision-making with strong opinions and more than a little self-interest. Indifference in the discernment process means that I am indifferent to matters of ego, prestige, organizational politics, personal advantage, personal comfort or favor, or even my own pet project. “God’s will, nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.” This takes time, for there is often a death to self that is required before we can see God’s will taking shape in our lives. But it is well-spent.

c.     When we have reached a point of indifference, we are finally ready to pray for wisdom which God promises to bestow on us generously when we ask. The prayer for indifference is an important pre-requisite to the prayer for wisdom because the wisdom of God is often foolish to man; indifference to matters of our own ego, in particular, prepares us to receive this gift.

6.     Listen: At the heart of the discernment process is the choice and the ability to listen on many levels.

a.     First of all we must listen deeply to the experience (s) that caused us to be asking this question in the first place. When the New Testament believers were faced with the question of whether or not Gentiles should be required to be circumcised in order to be saved, they entered into a time of deep listening: to the conversion experience of the Gentiles, to the perspectives of the people who were with them, to the questions and debate of the Pharisees, to Peter’s sense of personal calling to the Gentiles, to Paul and Barnabas’ descriptions of signs and wonders, to James’ exposition of Scripture connecting this experience to the words of the prophets in the Old Testament. Finally, out of all that listening James dared to state what he felt God was saying in it all: that they would not impose any further burden on the Gentiles beyond the essentials of the faith. The listening process had been so thorough that when James summarized it so succinctly, it was clear to everyone that the wisdom of God had been given.

b.     This story illustrates that the discernment process involves a major commitment to listening with love and attention to our experiences, to the inner promptings of the Holy Spirit deep within ourselves and others, to Scripture and Christian tradition, to pertinent facts and information, to those who will be affected most deeply by our decisions, to that place in us where God’s spirit witnesses with our spirit about those things that are true. When we embark on a true discernment process, we ask: What voices do we need to hear and how do we make sure that we hear them?

7.     Select an option that seems consistent with what God is doing among you: Discernment does not always come with as much clarity as it did for the New Testament church. When it’s not clear, you might select an option or two, seek to improve upon those options so that they are the best they can possibly be and then weigh them out to see which one seems most consistent with what God is doing among you. Questions that help us to weigh out these alternatives are: What is the thing that God is making natural and easy? What brings a sense of lightness and peace even in the midst of challenge? Is there an option that enables us to do something before we do everything?

8.     Seek inner confirmation: Sometimes in the excitement of a meeting we can get somewhat carried away by what is happening in the moment. We might need to allow people some time apart from the group to become quiet in God’s presence, to pray and think, and to notice whether they are at peace with the decisions being made. It is good to take a break (a few minutes, an hour, a day, or even a week) and come back together and check in with each other to see what God is saying to them in their quiet listening. If people are experiencing deep, inner peace with the options you are exploring, then affirm that together. If anyone is still having reservations or experiencing questions or resistance, honor them by listening to what it is they are experiencing and see what God has to say to you in it. Perhaps one element of a particular option that needs to be tweaked or perhaps a larger adjustment needs to be made. Trust God to work through this person’s hesitation.

9.     Agree together: Once the group has thoroughly explored the different options, hopefully there is a clarity that emerges which points towards one of the options or some combination of the options as particularly graced by God with wisdom and truth. This is the time when those responsible for providing leadership look at each other and say, “To the best of our ability, we agree that this particular path is God’s will for us so this is the direction we will go.” Then we rest in God, thanking him for his presence with us and for the gift of discernment as it has been given.

10.  Now it’s time to move forward into planning and implementation, confident, that “the one who has called you will be faithful to bring it to pass.”